January 26, 2012

  • Another rethinking

    1. It seems to me that I will never be able to leave this place for better for worse. The writing of here has been necessary for rethinking of myself.

    As always this semi-open space gives me balance between confession and secrecy. 

     

    2. And yes, I am egocentric, trying to change but still not very successful. Objectively, changes are made, but they are far from enough. The correct judgments are still quite blurred with other not important facts that avoid me from arriving at a conclusion.

    It's no longer I am not able to see myself, in the past yes, now, I really cannot look at my back. 

     

    3. I shall again make a small count here of some of my mistakes:

     

    1- Lack of Humour (More an attitude about give-and-take of opinion and things)

    2- Ivy-effect (Climbing on fab books and classics to inflate yourself, which can only be a primary motive for reading, now it's time to change a bit)

    3- Sentimental judgment (People I know who have a clear mindset does not imply with good ability, but with good ability comes clarity of mind.)

    4- Not anticipating reply (Not putting yourself into others' shoes and think how will they read your message)

    5- Lack of focus (Often losing my patience)

     

    Respective solutions:

    1-Joke about oneself before joking with other things or ppl

    2-Do more reading to get yourself humble (Often we in high-school or Uni just read a few and then boast about certain theories/philosophies. True a-lot-reader often would be humble for all the books they read)

    3-Being sensible, most of the time, if possible. Don't just focus on my own emotions, ups and downs.

    4- Try think of the exact words you would say instead of just vague words, read/listen again to see whether it goes with our expectations or not.

    5- "Finish one quality thing is better than a thousand undone."

     

    4.If I cannot manage even simple relationships - My position and the proper position and interaction with others, I would tend to lose my focus and being too much or too less. Either dependence or ignorance. Rely Materialistic Comfort or Spiritual Reconciliation.

     

    5. You know, usual psychological techniques. But then I am increasingly realise that once I grasp the correct position of myself, those other so called techniques comes without extra effort. On the other hand, without the proper position, those joke-around+pride/confidence things would just be overdone.

     

    6. All these typings make me look too nutty. It's time to get to bed and slowly infuse those above ideas day by day, just like what I did since four years ago.