October 8, 2012

  • Rose,

    By the time I am writing this letter, I hope you will be able to read these words, because most probably these are the words I am writing to you for the last time. Still by any chance I do not wish so.

    After that summer I had spent most of the time thinking about the things happened, firstly about the incidents, then about us, and finally about myself. Through that process, I had to face what I was, and to confront some fear and ghosts in my childhood, mostly bullying which distorted me into something I wasn’t aware of.

    Yet that is no reason for pleading innocence, we all take responsibility for what has formed and shaped us, and the more I am aware of it, the more I feel guilty towards the others, especially you. Although we chose to be together out of our own choice, which no remorse may be mourned, I still feel guilt towards you, my negligence. (Consider this more like Common Law – Equity)

    It is most normal to avoid persons whom have hurt us in the past, I trust that shall be the reason you have been avoiding me. For me, out of the guilt I felt I dared not finding you, even is a photo of yours on facebook from my friend’s feeds unbearable. The call made last year was after months of contemplating, and after you chose to ignore it, I did not attempt finding you anymore.

    I wish I am saying this in an agreeable manner, for finally knowing what I have done to you, the only thing I beg from you is forgiveness, nothing more. I miss you dearly, and have always hoped for your wellbeing even up till this very moment. If I could adequately express my sentiments towards you, but I may not. Presume this shall be most natural as well.

    I have been thinking of writing this letter, but waited until the moments, calm recollection of the past, may finally come to me as they were, as they are, as they will forever be. I owe you this apology, and by writing them out, I feel relieved and ready on to gain back what I have lost with my years of mischief my emotions have on me.

    Forgive me for typing this letter instead of handwriting, as you might recall I have some not quite agreeable handwriting, and the last impression deserves a better treat.

    Be Well, for we are in such turbulent days.

    Yours,
    Andrew