May 9, 2013

  • A note

    Today I am in my cousin's home for an overnight, hmm, the reason is rather, embarrassing. I had a fight with my dad over something nondescript. It was a minor matter, but my dad exploded in a way I could never have expected, to the degree that if he had had a knife, he would have chopped me like a 20 dollar pork chop.

    Now thinking back, it was quite reasonable. Some people valued the others' respect to them a lot, and when they "feel humiliated", they think that they are entitled to do virtually anything.

    It was about the tv. After the news, he grabbed his newspaper and started reading. I saw no eye contact between the tv and him, so I changed the channel. Things were well until the rthk programme showing CY Leung, and Dad wanted to change the channel back to the 24 hour news channel.

    I said well you are reading the newspaper, he said he bought virtually everything in the house, and that he was entitled to use everything at the same time, insisting that I must ask. I said that you weren't using the tv, how should I know you are entitled to such degree. He was angry, called be something like ignorant, disobedient, discourteous.

    Then I grabbed my textbook (Exam is near) and my wallet, called my cousin for a place to stay.

    There are a few conclusions:

    1) Bad character merits no close relationship. Sometimes I can understand why my girlfriend left me. There is just no defense of having a bad character and not being responsible for your own emotions. All ships shall sail to the stable sea.

    They ask us to forgive, but then like, forgive is to those who can change. Relatives and dads and moms are just the kind that was irrationally pre-decided for us. If they shall abuse our forgiveness to them, then why not breaking up?

    Sometimes it is not that we cannot forgive, it's just too unbearable in the long run.

    2) One shall determine the number of friends they have by thinking whom shall they call when they have no place to stay.

    3) Shall give a second reason to myself, that these days I have not been able to focus on my studies because I am worrying about my job. I am having already quite few interest, and that I shall be able t excel in them. But then I am not planning my time well and always lingering over fragments of different subjects at different times, instead of focusing and finishing one at a time.

    If I shall be able to focus very well, the time can be shortened and the quality of my work can be increased. Stop surfing Facebook, Xanga, Hkgolden whatsoever. Too many things to distract ourselves from the solitude and emptyness of life. Shallow and Superficial.

    4) Time to pull out my dusty book and read.